three years: still no progress

it’s when i was a girl i started to think about whet life was all about. i kept asking ‘what’s this’ and ‘what’s that’ without even knowing where those questions would lead me to.
and then it comes to ‘what’s love?’
i kept asking what love is. forgetting what feeling surrounding me. ’til he came and showed me… (he’s still showing me up to now.)

that love is something i always had all this time.
that God always guide me with His love.
that when i found love, my life would be whole.

he just walked and passed me by without knowing what he’s given to me.

he’s not that flawless after all. that’s when i came to see his flaws. but the greatest thing about love is that we can always accept ‘him’ for what he is… (i’m still trying though, but i’m sure he works harder than me..)

and so it’s been three years that i keep trying. still not knowing if he’s the right one for me. but when i think about all those doubts, i remember some things. he’s the one taught me what life was all about. that i gotta stop asking what instead of why. (i don’t know if i say it right or not..) ’cause life is not keep asking what, but to find why. and know it comes to this:

why do i love him?

but yet, i don’t want any answer for that question. because i’m afraid that when i know the answer, i’d stop asking. and when i stop asking, i’m so scared that i’d stop loving him. (loving someone give me more strength to face the day..)

so yes, there’s no progress in me finding the answer for that question. so i still keep trying to find it. and unconditionally love him.

you are a drug,
i cannot quit you,
you are a drug,
i’m still lonely with you,
you’re not in love,
but i still need to
hold on to you,
what have i gotten into?
(you are a drug by secondhand serenade)

oke, stop all that crap.

actually, awalnya post ini di blog saya yang satunya berlanjut di foto saya dan teman-teman saya. tapi saya memutuskan untuk memotongnya karena saya pengen blog ini untuk nggak terlalu personal tapi personal. like… you know me but you can’t find me or something like that yang saya tau doesn’t make sense at all. huftt.

 

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